If we must sing Christmas carols before Christmas, rather than in the Christmas season (which begins at midnight on Christmas Eve), let's at least sing carols that match the season of rampant commercialism and Advent concern about future world leadership. I've penned a little ditty for the season :
God rest you merry money-men
1.
God rest you merry money-men
let nothing you dismay :
remember that our government
will not stand in your way.
However much you screw it up
you'll still get bonus pay
. . . so it's tidings of comfort and joy for Bullingdon Boys,
yes it's tidings of comfort and joy!
2.
You've got the politicians tamed
like monkeys in a zoo;
Besides, an awful lot of them
are wheeler-dealers, too!
You're "all in it together" (1) —
there's little we can do.
. . . but it's tidings of comfort and joy for Bullingdon Boys,
yes it's tidings of comfort and joy!
3.
If tax is inconvenient
there is no need to shout.
Your Man in Inland Revenue (2)
will help you sort it out
with dodgy deals in Switzerland —
the tax-avoider's tout.
. . . yes, it's tidings of comfort and joy for Bullingdon Boys,
yes it's tidings of comfort and joy!
4.
So Christmas has come early for
financiers one and all.
Mervyn King can fulminate (3)
but, safe in marble halls (4)
the one per cent (5) can celebrate;
the rest go to the wall
. . . but it's tidings of comfort and joy for Bullingdon Boys
yes it's tidings of comfort and joy!
Footnotes :
(1) a Conservative Party election slogan in 2010
(2) ('dodgy' Dave Hartnett, that is : Inland Revenue chief, currently trying to explain to a Parliamentary Select Committee why he went to Switzerland behind the backs of his own department and after a suitable slap-up meal offered one of the most unscrupulous transnational finance houses, Goldman Sachs, a hefty £10 million discount on their UK tax dues)
(3) a reference to recent remarks by the boss of the Bank of England, who has made barely-veiled comments about extravagant payouts to City bosses when their firms need to be amassing all the capital they can for the sake of their financial resilience.
(4) reference to an old music hall song, "I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls, with vassals and serfs at my side; And of all who assembled within those walls, that I was the hope and the pride."
(5) the world-wide 'Occupy' movement slogan : "we are the 99 per cent". The one per cent (in the USA) being the ones owning 38% of the wealth and receiving nearly a quarter of the nation's total income.
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2 comments:
Very good Dick! Will sing it next Year... not sure if anything would have changed by then.
an extra verse (before last verse) inserted after Cameron's return from Strasbourg :
4. You had an anxious moment when an obstacle you dread —
tighter European regulation — raised its head,
but Cuddly Dave has gone and got you off the hook instead
. . . so it's tidings of comfort and joy for Bullingdon Boys,
yes it's tidings of comfort and joy!
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